What’s always in front of us that we can never see?

This week we have been finding English jokes and riddles or translating jokes from our languages.

What’s always in front of us that we can never see? 

The future…..

From T.H.J.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Why did the elephant cross the road?

It was the chicken’s day off.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see its “flat mate”.

From Percy:

Two pizzas are put in an oven.  One pizza says to the other, “phew, it’s hot in here!” “What?” replies the other pizza “a pizza that can talk…?”

From C:

What do you call a snake that informs the police?   

A grass snake

From A:

Four men are at the bottom of a hill.  They see a sign on top of the hill so one of them climbs up to read it.  He returns and says, “Go up the hill and read the sign”.  So the second man climbs the hill.  When he returns he says “Go up the hill and read the sign”.  The third man climbs the hill.  Yes, you’ve guessed it.  He returns and says, “Go up the hill and read the sign”.  The fourth man is exasperated and says “This is crazy!  I’m not going up the hill to read it too”.  The third man replies, “You don’t have to.  It’s just that the sign says - go up the hill and read the sign!” 

From Dragon:

One day the boat Titanic sank; just one person survived. Do you know why?

Because he had "Petit bateau" underpants on!!!

These days the circus tamer is friendly with pumas. Do you know why?

Because he wears Puma pants!!!

From N:

What’s green and eats chocolate in class?

A chocodile.

"Why is your sister crying?" says Mum

"I told her she was stupid" replies her son

"Well tell her you're sorry!"

So the boy says to his sister:

"I'm sorry you're stupid" 

What do you call a rabbit with cups on his ears?

Mugs bunny!

What do you get if you cross a pig with a mad scientist?

Doctor Franken-swine!

What’s the abominable snowman’s favourite Italian meal?

Spagh-yeti!

What’s Dr. Jekyll’s favourite game?

Hyde and seek!

Two bats meet and the one asks the other: 

Why are you wearing that hat?

I’m a baseball bat!  (L.O.L. the Editor)

By Catstein Junior “ha ha ha”

Do you know that…?  Here are some interesting facts from Nancy.

If you were to continue growing as fast as a baby, when you reach ten years old your weight would be 187.000 kilos.

The first mobile phone cost 2.800 €.

Some chickens (hens) lay green or blue eggs.

When it is sunny, the Eiffel Tower turns towards its shadow.

Can you solve these riddles? (Answers at bottom of post)

From T:

a)  Two sons and two Fathers go fishing.  They only catch three fish.  How can they have one fish each?

b)  What climbs but cannot move?

From A:

c)  Who always sleeps with their shoes on?
d)  'The longer she glows, the shorter she grows.'  What is it?

Here are the answers:

a) It’s a grandfather, his son and his son – so it’s only three people!

b) The stairs

c) A horse
d) A candle